We are all almost always in the process of learning something new, developing an underused ability or talent, or toning down an overused one. Some of us are involved in learning how to speak up for ourselves, while others are discovering how to be more considerate. In the process of becoming, we are always growing and fine tuning one of our many qualities, and it is a natural part of this process for things to get out of balance. This may be upsetting to us or the people around us, but we can trust that it’s normal in self-development.
For example, when we are setting boundaries and taking care of ourselves, we may go through a phase of needing to learn how to say no. During this time, we might say no to just about everything, as a way of practicing and exploring this ability. Like a child who starts saying a new word, we want to try out this new avenue of expression and empowerment as much as we can. It is new and exciting for us, and we want to explore it fully. We are mastering a new skill, and eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will resume its position as one part of our balanced life.
Throughout these phases, we overcompensate for a quality that was suppressed in our life, and the swinging of the pendulum from under-use to overuse serves to bring that quality into balance. Understanding what’s happening is a useful tool that helps us to be patient with the process. In the end, the pendulum settles comfortably in the center, restoring balance inside and out.
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