Celebrating the success of others deepens your own happiness. We all want to be the kind of people who are happy for others when they experience success or a cause for celebration in their lives, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes powerful, dark feelings come when decorum dictates we should be feeling the opposite; instead of reaching out and celebrating our loved one, we feel the rising up of our own pain. This pain may arise because we feel jealous about someone having something we don’t. It may arise because our friend’s success will lead to us losing them in some way. Or it can arise for reasons we don’t yet understand. The important thing is not to brush it under the rug but to take it seriously and look at it; suppressing it will only make it worse. At the same time, we need to be sure to find a way to congratulate our friends and celebrate their successes as if they were our own.
The struggle with being happy for others presents itself early in life. If a child wants a toy and another child has it, the child will try to get it or will break down in tears. Those primal feelings are still present in most of us, and we have to acknowledge them when they arise. It can be a difficult balance when we find ourselves suspended between wanting something and throwing a party for our friend who got it. Yet it is in throwing the party that we share in the joy, rather than cutting ourselves out of it.
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