DailyOM: Could you tell us what "external validation" means to you? And why is it important to address?
Dr. Frost: External validation is when you seek approval, recognition, or praise from others in order to feel valued or worthy. It is a universal and deeply ingrained human behavior. It is completely normal and very common. From a young age, we learn that safety, love, and belonging come from approval from our parents, teachers, and friends. It becomes problematic when this need for validation becomes the preferred and/or primary source of our self-worth. We then begin to shape our identities around what we think others want or expect from us.
In this way, we lose sight of what is authentic and true, leading to a continuous cycle of seeking out validation, fulfillment, and peace from others (where it is impossible to find in any lasting way). You absolutely have the power to break free from this pattern and cultivate a deep sense of worth and trust that comes from within. Once you have that understanding — and truly believe it — sky's the limit.
DailyOM: Who would benefit most from taking this course?
Dr. Frost: This course is perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of daily life or struggling with self-doubt and confidence (hello to all of us). If you're a high-achiever constantly pushing yourself, a people-pleaser always putting others first, or someone who's simply tired of feeling "not enough," then this course is for you.
Together, we'll use tools and complete activities that will directly and immediately help you create awareness, which is the prerequisite to any lasting change. After just seven brief lessons, you'll have strategies to boost self-worth and confidence from the inside out, and this is life changing! You'll also create an actionable plan for continuing this work once the course is over.
We all come from different places and different backgrounds. We all have faced unique challenges and opportunities, but the path to self-acceptance is universal. And it starts from within. It's my job to support you and remind you of your inherent worth and wisdom every step of the way.
DailyOM: What are some of the key takeaways students will gain?
Dr. Frost: You will walk away from this course with a deeper understanding of how all of the external seeking impacts your life. The effects are so negative and far reaching, but so many don't even realize it's happening.
You'll learn practical strategies to foster self-compassion, tools to overcome negative thought patterns, and a deep understanding of how and why cultivating inner self-worth enriches every aspect of your life. Most importantly, you'll connect back to yourself. If it's been two days, or 20 years — it doesn't matter. That connection is available at any given moment. You get to choose you again, even after years or decades of deciding otherwise. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.
DailyOM: Was there anything surprising you discovered about yourself while developing this course?
Dr. Frost: An interesting discovery was realizing how deeply my own self-worth has grown through practicing and teaching these concepts. I've come so far in a short time by implementing the exact strategies I'm teaching you here — strategies like daily journaling, pausing to check in (rather than out), and practicing self-compassion. These are game-changers when you incorporate them into your every day.
It also reminded me that self-acceptance is a lifelong journey, and even as a teacher, I'm still learning and evolving. We are all a work in progress. We get to grow, change, learn, pause, try a different way, and then try again when that doesn't work. It's one of my greatest joys to be able to teach and grow alongside you here.
DailyOM: What's one advice or practice you can share with us?
Dr. Frost: Find a self-awareness practice that works for you (meditation, sitting quietly, daily device-free walks, etc.) For me, it was journaling. Getting my thoughts down on paper allowed me to see them from a different perspective. I learned that "just because I think it, doesn't mean it's true."
Through this practice, I learned how powerful your thoughts are in creating your life. You get to change them when they no longer serve you. Always start small — smaller than you think. Try two minutes of a gratitude practice or three minutes of sitting quietly. Avoid the New Year's Eve "going all in" attitude. It doesn't work. Keep it manageable and repeatable, and build from there.
This is exactly how I began my now consistent meditative practice. I started by sitting quietly for three minutes in the morning. I had no big agenda, no guided meditations, no lotus position. It was just me in my jammies with my swirling thoughts, worries, hopes, and stresses. And slowly but slowly, I extended the time. Now I seek silence, where I used to feel so compelled to cover it with chaos and noise. Don't underestimate the power of even a seemingly small shift. Starting small was the absolute needle mover for sticking with a practice I had tried for several years to create.
DailyOM: How do you handle setbacks or moments of self-doubt?
Dr. Frost: They come up — all the time! This work doesn't erase the thoughts from your mind; it just reminds you how much control you have when they do. A favorite approach is to pause and take a single deep breath. This creates space for me to respond thoughtfully, rather than react habitually. I also love a good mantra. One that I repeat regularly and write down every morning is: "I'm exactly where I'm meant to be." It reminds me that this experience — good, bad, or indifferent — is the exact one I should be having right now. I get to choose what I make it mean and put the power back in my hands.
At a foundational level, daily movement and self-care practices like journaling, sitting quietly, and reading, keep me calm and connected — especially when I'm feeling doubtful, questioning, or insecure. I like to say: "Practice when you don't need it, so it's available and familiar when you do."
DailyOM: Thanks Carolyn! The tools, strategies, and information in this course will help so many find their way back to themselves — so they can learn to cultivate their own self-worth. So if you are struggling with self-doubt and confidence or you are simply tired of feeling "not enough," then join us on this life-changing journey. Until next time, be well.
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