We all have reacted in a way that was less than ideal upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or being told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it’s yelling back at the person yelling at us or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching ourselves to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks and insults that can come into our life.
For one thing, our initial response is not always what’s best for us or for the other people involved. Reacting to childish rage with childish rage will escalate the negativity in a situation, further ensnaring us in an undesirable dynamic. Similarly, when we react defensively or simply thoughtlessly, we often end up feeling regret over our words or actions. In the end, we will save ourselves a lot of pain if we learn to take a deep breath and really tune in to ourselves and the other person before we respond. This doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t say anything, although in some cases, that may be the best option.
Some situations require a fairly immediate response, but even just a moment of grounding ourselves before we do so can help enormously. The next time you find yourself wanting to react, try to pause, and in that pause, take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the floor, the air on your skin, and listen for a response to arise within you, rather than just going with the first thing that pops into your head. You may find that in that moment, there is the potential to move beyond reaction and into the more subtle and creative realm of response, where something new can happen.
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