The following is an excerpt from the "Say Goodbye to Anxiety" on-line course. If you would like to enroll in the course, click here.
Observing Fear & Releasing The Past
Changing our response to fear—and to the situations that bring up fear—requires time and patience, and gradual progress is the only way to get lasting results.
A Scary Story (And not "funny" scary!)
Fear accumulates within us, and we can contain it for a while, but one way or another it will eventually begin to surface.
When there is a large accumulation of fear inside, we have to devote considerable energy toward control, containment, defense, denial, masking, posing, barriers... all to keep others from discovering our vulnerability. It's similar to the way a corrupt corporation behaves. All sorts of resource-sapping measures are taken to hide the truth, while it's eating away at the company from the inside. Accumulated fear does that to us.
But worse than what we do to hide our fear from others is what we do to avoid feeling it ourselves. In order to protect us from becoming paralyzed with fear, our system will work so insidiously at walling it off, that we don't realize how much has accumulated. It will simply feel normal, until it can no longer be contained. That's when we begin to have panic attacks, severe anxiety, and all sorts of compulsive behaviors. Then we start taking medication just to keep ourselves upright and moving forward, all in order to compensate for the fear accumulated inside.
How does fear accumulate? When we experience trauma -- anything that frightens us, whether the cause is physical abuse, combat, emotional abuse, accident, loss, it doesn't matter the cause -- we split off from fear. In order to focus on simple survival, our system separates the fear out from our awareness, and it goes unconscious. The fear remains unprocessed within, waiting for resolution, and we're left with an unconscious sense that we're not safe.
Each time we experience trauma, more unresolved fear gets added on, until eventually we're carrying so much that just maintaining it begins to be a full time job. It's like weighing 300 pounds and needing to eat huge meals all the time, just to feel full. Fear accumulates like excess weight -- and sometimes the two even go together.
But here's the good thing about an accumulation of fear: There's a certain amount of it. And if there is a certain amount, if you were to release some of it, you'd have less. And if you were to release most of it, it would no longer require all the maintenance, all the resources, the masking, the medication, etc.
If you were to release your fear, there would be no need to try to avoid feeling it, masking it, or covering it up. All of the control issues would be unnecessary, because you would feel safe. How different would your outlook on your life be then? How would your relationships change? Well, it would certainly be worth finding out!
But how does one go about releasing fear? In a nutshell, to release the fear within, learn to become conscious of it and be present with it when it surfaces. It's pretty simple, but it's not easy, and it's not quick. However, it is doable, and totally worth the effort.
Suppose that inside your energy field is a ball of energy that represents your fear. And suppose this ball is the sum total of all the fear you've accumulated throughout your entire life, and even before, and that every experience that frightened you, big or small, has contributed to this ball of fear.
Perhaps it's the case that because your ball of fear has grown to its current size, it now easily becomes triggered and periodically takes over your awareness. Whenever fear takes center stage, it impairs our ability to respond effectively to life, we tend to make poor decisions, and at the very least we're unable to enjoy ourselves. At worst, we can become temporarily paralyzed.
This program was designed to help you reduce the amount of fear you carry, and approach life in a clearer, more fully present and comfortable way.
Any program about releasing fear is apt to bring some of it up. Part of the process of releasing fear is to learn that you can experience it, and survive the experience. That way, each time fear comes up it can be a little less troubling.
Fear is the most difficult emotion we face, because it touches the core of our survival system. Overcoming fear takes time, so don't become discouraged if progress seems slow, especially at the beginning. Keep going.
HOMEWORK For Lesson One
1. Spend at least 10 minutes, twice a day, focusing in your heart, and breathing in a deep, slow, even rhythm. Take at least one week to build this simple, but powerful practice into a solid foundation before going on to Lesson Two.
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