Throughout the course of a successful marriage or long-term commitment, the two people in the relationship may shift in and out of various roles. For example, one person may support the other person going back to school. In order to do this, the person in the supporting role sets aside certain goals or aspirations to provide a stable base from which their partner can launch in a new direction. There are many gifts of learning inherent in this role — from having the opportunity to embody a nurturing stance to feeling the pleasure of seeing a loved one thrive. When our partner expands their horizons, ours expand too, and we gain access to a world that would otherwise remain closed to us.
However, there is also much to be said for having a turn at being the one who steps outside the box, perhaps taking time to attend to our personal healing, spiritual pursuits, or other interests. In order to maintain balance within our relationships, it’s important that we address these issues each time one person steps into a supporting role, so the other can try something new. When we are conscious about acknowledging that one person is bearing a bit more of a burden so that the other can grow, we stand a better chance of making sure the ebb and flow in the relationship remains fair and equal.
The most important part of this process is open communication, where each person has a chance to express how they feel and come to an understanding about the roles they have agreed to play and when they expect them to shift. Each time a dynamic shift occurs, a ceremony of acknowledgment can lend an air of distinction to the moment. This can be a simple dinner date or an elaborate ritual, depending on what works best for you at the time. Perhaps the most important thing is expressing gratitude to the person in the supporting role and encouragement to the person moving in a new direction. When the flow of feeling and communication is open, a healthy closeness develops that allows each person in the relationship to have a turn at each of these important roles.
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