DailyOM: In your course, you talk about realizing you were a genius at manifesting what you don't want. How is it that so many of us get it reversed?
Gay Hendricks: Under the stress of coping with the circumstances of our early lives, we develop two sets of intentions: conscious and unconscious. We also develop two distinct personalities. Personality one is largely positive and focused on getting recognition in healthy ways. Personality two develops a subconscious means of dealing with pain, when our more positive personality fails to produce positive results. Personality two's solutions produce results but usually they're results we don't consciously want. When we're in the grip of personality two, we do things that produce more pain, such as giving up, blaming others, getting sick, having accidents, and getting in trouble with authority figures.
From these two different personalities come two different sets of intentions: conscious and unconscious. The conscious intentions emerge from personality one, which is bent on creating positive results through actions that attract positive recognition. The unconscious intentions are a product of personality #2, which is focused on the short-term solution of warding off pain to the detriment of long-term solutions that could prevent the pain from occurring in the first place.
For example, you might have a conscious intention to go to the store for broccoli but also be driven by an unconscious intention to punish yourself by getting a two-pound chocolate bar and bingeing until you feel miserable. When we are not aware of our unconscious intentions, they run our lives. The whole process of psychological and spiritual growth involves a slow awakening to how and why we create painful results when our conscious intentions are so lofty. Once we begin to acknowledge our unconscious intentions and see where they come from, our conscious intentions gain more strength.
DailyOM: You also talk about the idea of thinking of ourselves as manufacturers and distributors rather than consumers. Can you explain what you mean by that?
GH: If we perceive ourselves as consumers of love or abundance or positive energy, we automatically disempower ourselves. The consumer has a need that must be fulfilled by someone or something external. For example, my wife, Katie, and I have done many couples-counseling sessions in which it became obvious that one person was the giver and the other was the taker. One person was taking 100 percent responsibility for the relationship, the other was taking 0 percent. We take on these roles unconsciously, and it almost always comes as a shock to couples when they realize how they have created an unequal relationship.
Stepping out of the consumer role and into the producer role means that you are now connected to an infinite supply. Producers of love can make as much love as they like; the consumer must depend on the supply coming from somewhere else. This issue is ultimately a metaphysical consideration: Are we in a co-creative relationship with the universe, or do we think of ourselves as somehow different from or even at odds with the universe?
DailyOM: Why is recognizing unconscious patterns so important?
GH: Unless we cultivate the awareness of our unconscious patterns, we're condemned to repeating them mindlessly, producing the same unwanted results. It often comes as a surprise to people when they realize that an unconscious pattern of their own is actually creating the painful circumstances they complain about the most. Before we wake up to our own unconscious patterns, we often make the mistake of thinking we're unlucky or blaming other people for our repeated misfortunes.
To give an extreme example, a man in his thirties once told me in his first session that he had been left by more than a dozen women since his high-school sweetheart abruptly dumped him when he was a teenager. In an innocent tone of voice, he said, "I'm beginning to wonder if it has something to do with me." Indeed, it did. It turned out that his mother had left his father when my client was only six months old. Without realizing it, he had repeated this early-childhood pattern from his teens into his thirties. Fortunately, once he had acknowledged his unconscious intention to be abandoned by women, he was able to create a successful, long-term relationship.
DailyOM: In the course, you teach that anything left incomplete in your life drains your energy. What does this have to do with attracting abundance?
GH: This is an extremely important point: Incompletions eat up the very energy that could be used to make big leaps forward in your life. Incompletion takes many forms — things we start and leave unfinished, significant truths we fail to communicate, agreements we break and don't rectify. Each time we leave something incomplete, it's like leaving a pair of socks on the floor. Incompletions tend to proliferate, and after a while, we can accumulate so many piles of socks on the floor that we have to navigate around them to get through the room. That's how incompletions slow down the process of attracting abundance. You get so busy trying to fix incompletions from the past that you don't have time or energy to focus on what you want to create now.
DailyOM: What is some feedback you have received from people who have taken your course?
GH: Probably the most typical response is some version of "Before I took the course, I never really understood how manifestation works. You made it so simple and clear that I finally got it." Another piece of very satisfying feedback I get is when people tell me of some specific result they've created, such as a new job they've dreamed up or a relationship breakthrough where a couple has amplified their money supply by applying a principle in the course.
DailyOM: Why should somebody take your course? How will it change their life?
GH: The course makes it simple and clear a subject that is often thought to be extremely complicated. The process of creating abundance — whether it's abundance of money, abundance of love, or any other type of abundance you wish to create — applies to many areas of life. If you can learn the essential rules of creating more positive results in your life, you have a tool of ultimate value. I think everyone deserves to have access to that tool. | |
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