The following is an excerpt from the "Overcoming Fear" on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.
We can control the quality of our lives if we are willing to face our fears rather than burying, suppressing or avoiding them. Confronting our deepest fears, our terror, is a way out of the agony of our ongoing stories and into the glorious world of empowerment. Almost all of us were terrorized in some way when we were young. For you, maybe it was when you were bullied in school or when one of your siblings locked you in the closet. Something happened to activate the feeling of fear, of sheer terror, and at some point you rejected your fear and made a decision that this was a bad way to feel because you associated it with some negative event.
Now it is time for you to be the adult and take charge of your internal world. You have to be the one to take back your power, even if you're scared. When you are in fear, it's because you believe in that darkness more than you believe in the light. You might believe that if you do enough, read enough, pray enough or chat enough, you can obliterate your fear, but I am here to tell you that it's impossible to make the fear happy. You might think that if you listen to it long enough, it will go away. But it won't. You must confront it. You must take back your power. You say, "Yes Debbie but how?" Well here is the antidote for your fear: LOVE IT. Don't try to discard or rid yourself of your fear, because you probably aren't strong enough. But what you can do is bring the light to the darkness. That light is love. When faced with your fear, you can ask yourself, "How can I love myself even when I'm in the middle of my fear? You can turn around and face your fear. You can stop te! rrorizing yourself further for being scared and instead find out how old that fear is. You can ask yourself, "How many years, months, weeks, days and minutes have I been terrorized by the same thing?" Count it out and write it down. And then find some sweet compassion for the kid in you that is scared to death.
The greatest way to take on your fear is to create safety for yourself. Safety is the key to courage. And action is your way of showing yourself that you are safe and that you can take care of yourself.. For example, if you hold a secret fear that you could become a bag lady but have no financial plan, then you're going to be continuously terrorized. Get a money mentor. Find out how much money you need to put away and then start on that path. If you're afraid that someone is going to attack you, get trained in self-defense. If you're afraid your business partner is going to extort you, have an agreement drawn up that protects you. If you're fearful that your partner is going to leave you, find out what you would need to do to know that, even if they did leave, you're a desirable and extraordinary person? If you're scared that you're going to pass your limiting beliefs and issues on to your kids, what transformational class would you have to attend or what coaching could you ! participate in to ensure that you're giving them your highest? If you're scared you're going to get sick, what measures could you take right now to nurture your well-being? Add tai chi or yoga classes to your weekly schedule and seek out an integrative healthcare practitioner (such as an acupuncturist or body worker) to mitigate stress and keep your body in balance.
Since ultimately you are the one that can make you feel safe, what environment do you need to create around you? What support structures could you put in place? Ask yourself where in your life are you not protecting yourself - not taking care of yourself. What subtle adjustment or quantum step can you take this week to put in a measure of safety somewhere in your life where you are fearful? Whether it's adding antioxidants to your daily regimen, putting money in savings, having an alarm system installed, getting insurance, or praying to the divine, do what it takes to ease your heart and mind. Make a commitment this week. Find an area where you have fear and take it on!
Do you long for the relationship of your dreams? Are you frustrated trying to find Mr. (or Ms.) Right, and tired of blind dates, spending time alone or being the 5th wheel at gatherings with friends and family? How many times have you tried to quiet that inner critic who tells you that you're not thin enough, smart enough or rich enough to attract the perfect mate, and that you're doomed to spend your life alone? This 21-day course contains a powerful lesson each day with tangible action steps, one day building upon the next. It can be done in 21 days, or longer if you wish. By following proven principles, it has been specifically designed to prepare you for success. Finding love becomes an easy, fun and exciting process! And remember, this course wasn't written by someone who thinks it might work - but from someone who has actually done it and has been happily married ever since!
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