Q: What does it mean to "speak with purpose, not impulse"?
A: Speaking with purpose means carefully considering our motivations when it comes to wielding words in impulsive, hurtful, and even destructive ways. It is the practice of bringing kinder and more conscious intention not only to the ways in which we interact with others but also to how we talk to ourselves.
So many of us do our best to speak meaningfully to others, but we fail to show this kindness and intentionality to ourselves, and instead speak critically, reactively, sometimes even cruelly. Speaking with purpose means diving into ourselves, locating the harsh words that reside there, and approaching them with a spirit of curiosity and compassion. It is about speaking with a desire to bring understanding to our communications and to serve others with our words.
Q: Why do we so often speak from impulse?
A: We speak without purpose because we are immersed in a culture that encourages us to speak loudly, to seek more, to brand our lives, and to brandish our opinions like weapons. We live in a social media era that values speed, competition, and instant gratification. We may think of unconsciousness as another word for impulsivity. In this context, we require real intentionality to become someone who speaks meaningful words. This course offers practices that help us develop this consciousness around our words.
There are also personal reasons for why we speak from impulse. For example, family can hold enormous influence over how we speak to others and ourselves. If we were raised in an environment where family members spoke over one another, we may struggle with conscious listening. If we were encouraged to remain silent, we may struggle with making our purpose known when speaking. Our childhood environments have the power to shape how we speak to ourselves and others throughout our lives.
Q: Why is it important to be conscious of our words?
A: Because words have power. The great poet Maya Angelou said, 'Words are things' — things that can be used as weapons or as balms. Words can harm and heal. It is our choice how we use them. Words do not control us. We are in the driver's seat. It may seem easy to dismiss the profound power of words with tired phrases like, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' But words do hurt.
This phrase came from a time when, as a society, we shunned vulnerability. In many ways, we still do this; however, we are also collectively coming to understand the need for vulnerability in healing as well as the enormous role verbal abuse plays in causing trauma. Words have the power to affirm us, to turn us toward love, compassion, and creativity. This course is about developing the tools to regularly harness the power of words for growth and good in our own lives and the lives of others.
Q: How do we begin to speak with more mindfulness?
A: The first step is to start developing consciousness around our language and around our listening. It is easy to move through life without ever pausing to notice the quality of our words and thoughts, especially when our egos hold on to fixed ideas of who we are – such as thinking I'm someone who never interrupts or utters an unkind word.
Often it is those of us who cling to such ideas who find, once we begin consciousness work, that we do in fact have a tendency to interrupt or regularly speak unkind words — to ourselves or others. In order to begin speaking with purpose, we must be willing to step outside of ourselves, pause, and witness. This involves not reacting to the incessant chatter in our minds and instead observing. This is the vantage point we need in order to become conscious of the negative behaviors and patterns in our words. It is a beautiful process of learning and renewal.
Q: Walk us through the journey of this course. How will it unfold for a student?
A: The course begins by defining our key terms: purpose and impulse. We will dive into the etymology of these terms in order to unpack their meaning in the context of speaking, as well as how they apply specifically to our course. We will then explore the personal and cultural reasons why we so often speak without purpose and the power words hold in our personal and collective lives. At that point we will begin the healing process, so to speak, with lessons about the hope for transformation and the need for discernment as we cultivate consciousness around our words.
Discernment is vital for change. If we practice purpose in our speech, we are also practicing discernment in our hearts. We will then move into the important relationship between intuition and impulse — there is a time and place for impulse, but the key to discerning whether impulse is reactive and potentially harmful is the presence of intuition. For our final lesson, we will explore simple, practical, and meaningful ways to apply these lessons to our daily lives, including in the digital landscape. We cannot remove technology from our lives, but we can bring intentionality and consciousness to our interactions with it.
Q: Tell us about some of the homework included in the course.
A: All of the lessons are supported by journaling homework, which is personal and creative, asking people to look deeply into their own hearts and souls, tune into their words and intentions, and listen and notice. It is both gentle and challenging. Truth telling is the most important part of the journaling process. This might feel a bit uncomfortable at times, for example, when the homework asks people to reflect on a time when words hurt or when they hurt another with their words, but honesty is what will make the course transformative — it is the documentation of your heart, and it is yours alone. | | |
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