When we date consciously, we are motivated not by fear or insecurity but by our innermost needs and values.

Dear Friends,

If you are currently in the dating world or are seeking ways to deepen your existing relationship, our new course, Conscious Dating, is for you. Imagine a world where we all rise up and present our authentic selves in each relationship, leading from our hearts rather than our pain. Please read on to find out about strategies for conscious communication with another person.

Q: What exactly is conscious dating, and how is it different from regular dating?

A: Conscious dating is dating from the soul. It is dating from a heart-centered standpoint rather than an ego-centered standpoint. When we date consciously, we move from the inside out. We are motivated not by fear or insecurity but by our innermost needs and values. We look inside at who we are on a soul-level, to the deep and tender reasons why we want what we want and why we've had the dating experiences we've had. Regular dating often works the opposite way. We are expected to close our eyes to our innermost selves and prioritize appearances - beauty, material success, worldly power. In this environment we make decisions based on our anxieties and end up dating people with whom we are not soul-matches. We create unnecessary suffering and reinforce painful, unconscious patterns. Conscious dating is challenging because it is a more vulnerable way to date, but it invites us to be our real selves, to live in our authenticity instead of wearing our comfortable ego-masks. Authenticity is where we find true intimacy and connection.

Q: Why is it so important that we approach dating in this more vulnerable and heart-centered way?

A: When we approach dating in a vulnerable and heart-centered way, we create space to build real intimacy. We cannot break the patterns caused by trauma, cultural conditioning, or family of origin, which eddy us into unhealthy relationships and/or fear of deep connection without opening ourselves up and naming our feelings. For many this can be a painful process that takes time. It's not easy to step into your heart, but when you do you find enormous freedom there to love yourself for who you are and to love others for who they are. This is real intimacy. There is no more projection of pain and expectation onto the other, only an acceptance of what is. When you're centered in your heart, you are awake. You can see old patterns for what they are and make conscious choices for change and growth.

Q: So many people offer up an altered or false version of themselves when dating. Why do people do this, and what can they do to present their authentic self to a potential partner?

A: We live in a culture in which dating is considered a game, and built into the idea of a game is winning. We all want to win the dating game, but few of us consider what this means and the toll it takes on our souls. We think that in order to win the game we cannot show any weakness or insecurity, and so we offer altered and false versions of ourselves, believing this will give us an advantage. But hiding in this way attracts the wrong partners who are also trying to win the game. Each is drawn in not by a real human being but by a performance. This results in suffering. When we approach dating as if it's a game, we are bound to lose.

In order to present our authentic selves, we must first connect with our authentic selves. This requires going within and tending to unresolved pain - to all the dusty places we may prefer to ignore - by asking questions like, What really motivates my hopes for a relationship? Am I afraid to be alone? What does my soul yearn for? This work requires courage, but through it we learn the beauty and power of standing in our vulnerability. Then it becomes a matter of remaining there throughout the experience of dating and attuning ourselves to the temptation to appear "a certain way." When we cultivate curiosity about this temptation, we notice it when it arises, and we can disarm it. In every dating interaction, we then have the conscious choice to hide or be authentic.

Q: So many people walk around not wanting to be hurt. Walls get built, and protection is put into place to avoid the pain of being hurt again. Why is it important for us to continually present our authentic self when dating?

A: Dating can be painful. It's important not to sweep this pain under the rug or pretend it isn't there. If you've been hurt, allow yourself to feel, process, and name that hurt. It is healing to honor the truth of the pain and disappointment we've experienced in dating. However, we cannot live in the pain. It is real, but it isn't the full story, and when we date consciously we don't allow it to prevent us from growing and beginning anew. Walls may feel like protection, but they only contain us and keep vulnerability, love, and connection from reaching us. It is natural to want to avoid the possibility of hurt, but if we don't take the risk, we lose the possibility of love as well. This applies not only to romantic love, but also to self-love and the love of life, the zest that leaps for possibility and holds space for the reality of both sorrow and joy in the heart. We have to risk being hurt in order to live in open-heartedness. When we move from our innermost selves, we will still experience fear, but we aren't wearing masks or hiding behind walls or identifying with any other ego defense. What we experience will be real and will give us quiet strength and knowledge of who we are and what we need in a relationship. None of this is possible without authenticity. That's why it is so important.

Q: What advice can be given to somebody who just hasn't had good experiences with dating?

A: First, you're not alone. So many of us have had negative experiences while dating, and considering the state of the dating "scene" today, where we so often feel unable to be our true selves, this is not surprising. The whole endeavor can end up feeling false, confusing, and without meaning. Many people give up dating altogether.

Dating may never be easy, but it doesn't have to be painful. Conscious dating won't remove the butterflies that come with meeting someone new, but it is a fresh, empowering entry into the experience. When you know who you are, when you understand your motivations and accept yourself as you are, you give others the freedom to do the same. If a relationship doesn't work out, it's not failure - it's flowering. The very things that tarnished dating in the past become opportunities to practice acceptance and permit growth. Dating can be an adventure instead of a chore. It can make you feel connected instead of alienated. The best advice is to open your heart to the possibility of a different experience, one that is challenging but expansive, that softens your heart instead of braces it, and actually unites you with your innermost self.

Q: Walk me through the journey of this course. How will it unfold for a student?

A: This course begins with individual work. Before we can begin dating consciously, we must take a gentle yet deep dive into ourselves. The more deeply you can connect with yourself, the more consciously you can date. This includes looking to your life, history, motivations, values, and goals. You have to be real with yourself about the roles you've played in your past dating experiences and where your soul is in the present moment. This work of creating consciousness and practicing vulnerability is our starting point, but it is ongoing throughout the course. It is a beautiful process that informs dating as well as life.

The course also moves through how to navigate the early logistics of dating in a conscious way. This includes practical tools for finding compatible individuals to date, approaching first impressions, discerning red flags, reaching out after the first date, and fostering conscious listening and conversational skills. All of this work is supported by journaling and meditation exercises.

The final season of the course, so to speak, focuses on the complex challenges that we may face while dating. Dealing with anxiety, losing interest, processing rejection, handling the realities of children and geography, navigating the first conflict, knowing when to let go - these challenges can all be approached in a conscious and productive way, no matter the outcome. The course unfolds as a loving invitation into the knowledge that, with consciousness and a spirit of receptivity, suffering in dating is optional.

Q: Is this course just for people who are starting out dating, or can the lessons also help those already in a relationship?

A: The lessons can absolutely help those already in a relationship. Consciousness practices like vulnerability, listening, and journaling nurture intimacy in all stages. There is never a bad time to integrate these practices into a relationship.


Course Overview

Conscious Dating is about becoming curious about who you are, what really motivates you, and what your soul most deeply desires. When we date consciously, we enter into a much different, and kinder, agreement. We agree that we're enough. When we move from this place of radical acceptance, we stop hiding. Dating is no longer the seeking of partnership for the sake of not being alone - it becomes a joyful adventure of deeply knowing and loving ourselves and others. This powerful course will move you through the meaning and practices of conscious dating - inviting you to deeply engage your own experiences and into the practical realities of dating on the ground, and how to date consciously in the midst of navigating these realities. It is possible for dating to be a life-affirming experience, in which even rejection becomes growth, and the pursuit of love is fulfilling in and of itself. You will emerge equipped to date without fear, with a full, open heart and a clear mind. Let's get you started today!


How Does It Work?

Starting today, you will receive a new lesson every day for 4 weeks (total of lessons). Each lesson is yours to keep and you'll be able to refer back to it whenever you want. And if you miss a lesson or are too busy to get to it that day, each lesson will conveniently remain in your account so you won't have to search for it when you're ready to get back to it.


Get Started Now

We are offering this course with the option of selecting how much you want to pay. No matter how much you pay, you'll be getting the same course as everybody else. We simply trust that people are honest and will support the author of the course with whatever they can afford. And if you are not 100% satisfied, we will refund your money.


How much do you want to pay?

$15$35$50

This is the total amount for all lessons


I hope you enjoyed reading about our new Conscious Dating course. As always, when you purchase a course from DailyOM, it is yours to keep and work the course at your own pace. Until next time.

Be well,

Madisyn Taylor
Cofounder, Editor-in-Chief
DailyOM