DailyOM: Describe what this course is about and who should take it.
Wendyne: This course is about learning to be in deep and emotionally intimate relationships with other human beings, without taking responsibility for anyone else's feelings or pain. So often in a relationship one does not speak the truth, is fearful of being real, hides true feelings, and may try to control the relationship in many subtle ways in the name of care, protection, and love.
This course is for anyone who wants to be real, have a deep closeness with others, develop trust in relationships, speak the truth, heal past patterns, and transform communication with loved ones and partners, as well as put an end to blame. Having intimacy without responsibility for others is about practicing the art and skill of freedom in a relationship and moving toward more love and care for self. We realize that when we truly heal and take care of ALL of our own issues, we are able to love others more deeply.
DailyOM: Why is it important to take responsibility in our relationships? What are its benefits?
Wendyne: It's intriguing to learn that any issue or pain not resolved with our parents can be reenacted in later adult relationships: unresolved old wounds or trauma, something lost, something always needed, or something not even known. Our partners will activate and trigger our original family imprints.
Students will discover how this happens, and learn to take responsibility for what is going on in a deeper way than ever before. Every problem in a relationship is happening for a powerful purpose and can be an opportunity for healing and transformation within, if one is conscious of what is really going on.
This course also teaches the student that it is not one's responsibility to take care of, protect, enable, force outcomes, control, manipulate, or take care of someone else's feelings. Yes, it is beautiful to love someone and care deeply about how they feel, yet it is not healthy to stop them from feeling life experiences or manipulate the environment to control what goes on.
DailyOM: Does responsibility sometimes show up as a way to control a relationship? How do we identify when that's occurring?
Wendyne: Absolutely. Sometimes, caretaking and feeling responsible for someone else becomes a codependency addiction, a distraction from self — from one's own pain and inner life. Walking on eggshells around a partner, family member, colleague, etc. is another way one may attempt to control someone else's feelings for fear of some kind of reaction from the other, such as anger, rage, or even depression and sadness.
The first step in resolving all of this is to realize that it is possible and incredibly healthy for the body, mind, and spirit to be able to speak your truth, be honest, face fear, and take responsibility for yourself only. It is all about YOU and no one else. Some people have never known this truth, and therefore, they live their lives taking care of other people's feelings, trying to control the whole environment and all that is going on. This course will set you free with new ideas about old subjects in relationships!
DailyOM: You teach 49 principles. Tell us about two of those principles and their significance.
Wendyne: This course presents 49 principles, one lesson for each day of the course. Main subject areas include: Speaking Your Truth, Embracing Feelings, Wound Re-enactments, Intimacy Boundaries, Responsibility vs. Blame, Letting Love In, and The Conscious Evolution of Love. I love Principle 4, which states: "When I try to shield you from your pain or hurt feelings, I take away your opportunity to discover your power." This principle explains more about why one should not take responsibility for someone else.
Opportunities arise all the time for people to discover their deeper powers: pain, challenge, change, sorrow, loss, and grief are often the things that open a person to their inner power and strength. When I shield my loved one from pain or hurt, I am taking away their opportunity to discover their greatness, often from the natural consequences that can be utilized for growth.
As the course moves on into the concept of consciously creating deep intimate loving relationship, I also love the principle that says: "I am ready to give attention to what I want in my relationship, rather than focus on what I do not want, as I remember whatever I give my attention to grows." This principle is teaching the importance of having a clear mental picture and vision of the relationship desired with a partner or family member. There is much research concerning the science of manifestation, and this applies to love and relationship as much as anything else.
The idea is that what you focus on and give energy to grows, and what you take energy away from dissipates. This principle invites students to be ready and willing to speak and communicate in loving kindness, apply the laws of manifestation and attraction, and give the self permission to love deeply without fear.
DailyOM: What kinds of homework and tools do you provide in this course?
Wendyne: Every lesson that arrives each day includes a daily teaching with a new principle, a writing assignment concerning the principle, and finally a three-minute Mind Intervention video with empowering affirmations. Students read the mini-teaching each day, write answers to the assignment questions, watch and follow instructions on the Mind Intervention video, reflect on everything they are feeling, and finally COMMIT to healing and transformation.
This course is perfect for anyone who desires to love more deeply, understand the components of healthy, inspiring relationships, and move toward the conscious evolution of love.
DailyOM: Thanks, Wendyne! Her course guides you through an empowering and eye-opening journey of self-discovery and growth. By discovering your own truth and values — as well as the behaviors that get in the way of experiencing deeper, more loving relationships — you learn the importance of accepting yourself. And from there, you can accept and love others too. Until next time, be well.
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